Pallbearer Of The Past

She continued to sit by the window
As the summers transformed to winters
The sun lit the bronze in her hair and revealed the hollows of the fawn eyes
The eyes that were once embraced with splendour unfathomable
And are now worn out fantasising the paradoxical return of the chariot that carried away all of her desires

Her soul became an impermeable enclosure of burnt hopes
Concealed to perfection with an illuminated face bearing gleaming smiles 
But the smiles that once illuminated her eyes are long dead 
And resurrection is beautiful but fiction
Fiction that she now holds against faith

Having built an existence around the passions that she lost in the battle with herself
Having constructed domes of the present with the ashes of burnt hopes
She has been called thoughtless and miserly
But wasn't it finer to survive a promising delusion
Than to return back to grimace over actuality that is just a pallbearer of the past?

–Divya Rathi

Invasion of Solitude

Have I been in this place now for too long?
It feels like the demons of desolation refuse to die down.
To that abode of glee I do not belong anymore,
For my solitude stands invaded by deceit.

The stream of thoughts still gushes through,
Never ceasing to perturb with the memories of...
Of lips that still tremble at the mention of that name.
Of eyes that still moisten at the reflection of the past that has been walked over.
Of flesh that has been torn apart to render the heart open,
A heart that bleeds of wounds from the broken glass of trust.

How would they know what it feels like,
To lose one's forever in another's deceiving eyes.
And I'm too frail now for narrating this tale of agony,
For this soul of mine is too stabbed and theirs is too rotten.

These clouds of despair only turn darker and deeper,
The moonless night hides away the light of the oil lamp. 
And I move like a tramp in the woods of bewilderment.
But now the gloom is beginning to petrify
I need my abode, the one that lies beyond the sky.

– Divya Rathi

The Carousel

At the fair that cheered the best monsoon of their lives
She gleamed at the sight of that carousel
The carousel of merry 
The carousel of enigma
The carousel that fanned the wind of their union 

The gleaming eyes peered at him 
Taking him by the arm 
Together they hopped on 
On the carousel where hope rode 
The carousel that shone like the moon playing behind the monsoon clouds

The carousel then swirled in a motion that induced 
An ecstasy so magical that the floating air danced above
The world around spun into a haze
And all they could see was themselves in each other's eyes

But the spinning carousel has to stop 
Surreality doesn't hold forever
And so the melancholy of conclusion arrives
The world comes into vision again 
The carousel begins to bring itself to a halt

The gleaming eyes have now turned dark
They look into his eyes again to find a path that can lead them ahead 
Disappointed, she closes her eyes with a spinning head 
Resting her head on his shoulder, he leads her down

She wakes up from her stupor with swollen eyes 
To watch his descending footprints that the rains have begun to disguise 
The carousel is now silent 
Their now is now gone.

–Divya Rathi

With Life or Without

Trees bend down from their alley
The dry rain pours
Green mountains fade to grey
As I flinch at the sight of time running ahead of me
Moving along the road wishing I could stop
Chase the moments racing away
And forever hold on to my fistful sands of time.

But all I hold on to is a consciousness clogged with memories of the past 
Memories, that are boulders on the road to the future
Memories, that drain out the rivers of the present
I try to escape the blades
And let my hair down to the shady clouds of reality.

But they say that to live is to stand to, for and by the truth,
So tell me, 
Is it worth the fight
To wall the tides of time
For those who slaughter your souls 
When you present to them a part of yourselves
For those in whose self consummation 
You find your selflessness
Would've still grabbed them by the arm without doubt 
Only if they knew if I was with life or without.

– Divya Rathi

Blame Them Not.

It's one thing to fall,
Another to stay.
Yet another to sense segregation,
A solitude that builds a fierce wall of wariness.

The fear of ascending a staircase of conviction,
Only to be turned around to and pushed down to oblivion,
Is what makes the untrue reality a mirage of faultlessness. 

They have known the sensation of hands turning blue,
Out of the chill of ruthless deception,
They have lived through bouts of dreadful lunacy,
Following the enlightenment of hostile dejection.

So blame them not to be inept to rely.
Blame them not to be reluctant to bestow.
It's always more than what meets the eye,
Blame them not, because they have known the sounds of the sighs.

– Divya Rathi

Gather You

Ever since you were left unescorted 
I knew you would fall apart 
And ever since I saw it happening
All I've wanted to do is gather you back to myself

I want to gather you 
From the waters of the ocean
From the winds in the sky 
From the motion of the dancing trees
And from the dew on the morning grass

I want to gather you
From the tears under my eyes
From moments that passed by
From the rhythm of the song that you sang 
And from the unfilled colours of the painting on your canvas

I want to gather you 
From the words you left unspoken
From the half smiles that shone on your face
From the scent of your cardigan
And from your warm embrace.

But you're much too far to come back closer
So I stand here each passing day 
Watching you lying in pieces
With an aching heart wanting to gather you.

– Divya Rathi 

Live

How long will you live the life that is all but yours 
Let the clouds set aside to bring out the clear skies 
Or let them shower the rain to wash away the tears of disdain 

Draw out the tan curtains
Let the room embrace the light 
So the darkness of yesterday subsides
And your face feels the composure of the cool dawn

There's a spring waiting after every fall
The bad days, yes, they will be gone
For now just take a pause and breathe
Feel the life that exists within

Break open the cage of rationale
Let the blizzard of sentiment erupt 
It's fine to not be fine sometimes
To set the mask of strength aside 

So give a voice to the cries of your heart 
Let the fire out into the blue
Don't stop yourself from breaking down
Cry out all that lies within you 

Now, do you see the drawing curtains 
The sunlight coming in through the dawn
The weight falls off
Yes, you feel light, you're gonna rise and step out of the dark night 

So fall down 
Let the wounds hurt
So the pain makes you feel alive
For life, as it may, makes you grow stronger with each scar.

– Divya Rathi 

Why It Wasn't You and I...

We trod the same path. Yes.

But much later did I realise that it was different directions we had been walking along 

It was destiny.

To Approach.

To meet.

To collide.

To walk away.

And not stay.

Destiny, we couldn't deny.

I flipped through the pages to find one that ultimately brought us together

Too naive to realise our tales were inked apart.

So many things gone wrong

So many conflicts in our hearts

Yet intellects clashing too often

Led me to think

Was it really meant to be?

Finding answers in those questions 

I choose to walk away 

To clear the mess 

And suppress the tempest.

Perhaps, wisely enough to discover some day 

This was the safest we could play 

When this path that we walk brings us to stand facing each other once again

And we look into each others' eyes

To find those faces 

That make us realise 

Why we had to bear goodbyes 

Why it wasn't me and you 

And, why it wasn't you and I.

– Divya